Yeah, keeping parents happy. I think this is the easiest job in the world if you never think about yourself. Otherwise, it is the toughest. Here, in one of the oldest civilisation where traditions and rules of society run so deep, it is almost always selfish to think about yourself and your happiness.
You don't believe me? Well, you NEED to! Coz this is the fact. There is no concept of your happiness. It is more about ' We-think-this-will-make-you-happy' even when you try every possible way to explain them that you do know about what you want and what makes you happy.
You are always in turmoil about things because one of them leads to what you want and the other to what they want. Also, you keep wondering and cursing yourself about being a bad child after seeing their dejected faces and listening to their low voices when you decline what they want.
Agreed, they want the best and would always wish for the best. Also agreed that they have to answer the society even though you care a damn about it. However, all one wants it is to live life the way one dreams of. And big commintments don't feature there at this stage.
Whose life is it? Yours? Parents? Neighbours? Relatives? Or the people walking by the streets? Who has to have a say in it then? What should you consider when you get request? Your state of mind or their respect? What should be more important - people feeling bad or you feeling bad? People are not wrong in asking. Though if you are not ready is it necessary to go through procedures just because people are asking and it is high time that your parents think you should? Is two days of happiness worth years of regret? Fine, taken into consideration of the fact that you might not regret but isn't the bigger question about one being ready? Is being pushy about it the right way?
It feels bad to back answer and hurt your parents. Every word has bigger repurcussions on our mind. Sometimes even more than that. Though, now is the time when I need their support. I need them to understand me. They are not wrong. There is no harm in trying but I am not ready. I have loads to do and bigger commitments don't feature in my lists right now. They are right in saying that everything has a right age. Now is the right age. However, isn't age subjective? Isn't frame of mind a bigger factor than age?
Moreover just so that I don't get trapped I don't want to reject people who are serious about things. I hate saying no. Maybe that is one of my biggest weaknesses but I am not sure if this is going to help me.
Yes, I am thinking about myself. Yes, I am being selfish. Yes, I don't want to hurt them but I don't want to give in to them at this juncture. No, I don't want them to be unhappy. Yes, I want both of us to be happy. Yes, it is super difficult. No, I am not going to stop trying. No, I am not going to give in. Yes, I will wait till I am ready. Yes, they need to understand it but they might not understand it. Yes, fights will happen. No, I won't back answer. Yes, I will try keeping them happy. Yes, I might lose on awesome prospects right now. No, I am not going to push myself worrying about future. Yes, I will live in present. Yes, I might end up alone. Yes, it might just happen because of my stubborness. No, I don't blame my parents. Yes, I am a trouble rebel child. Yes, I love them. Love them a lot and will always try hard to keep them happy. Yes, maybe someday even by forgetting about my happiness.
You don't believe me? Well, you NEED to! Coz this is the fact. There is no concept of your happiness. It is more about ' We-think-this-will-make-you-happy' even when you try every possible way to explain them that you do know about what you want and what makes you happy.
You are always in turmoil about things because one of them leads to what you want and the other to what they want. Also, you keep wondering and cursing yourself about being a bad child after seeing their dejected faces and listening to their low voices when you decline what they want.
Agreed, they want the best and would always wish for the best. Also agreed that they have to answer the society even though you care a damn about it. However, all one wants it is to live life the way one dreams of. And big commintments don't feature there at this stage.
Whose life is it? Yours? Parents? Neighbours? Relatives? Or the people walking by the streets? Who has to have a say in it then? What should you consider when you get request? Your state of mind or their respect? What should be more important - people feeling bad or you feeling bad? People are not wrong in asking. Though if you are not ready is it necessary to go through procedures just because people are asking and it is high time that your parents think you should? Is two days of happiness worth years of regret? Fine, taken into consideration of the fact that you might not regret but isn't the bigger question about one being ready? Is being pushy about it the right way?
It feels bad to back answer and hurt your parents. Every word has bigger repurcussions on our mind. Sometimes even more than that. Though, now is the time when I need their support. I need them to understand me. They are not wrong. There is no harm in trying but I am not ready. I have loads to do and bigger commitments don't feature in my lists right now. They are right in saying that everything has a right age. Now is the right age. However, isn't age subjective? Isn't frame of mind a bigger factor than age?
Moreover just so that I don't get trapped I don't want to reject people who are serious about things. I hate saying no. Maybe that is one of my biggest weaknesses but I am not sure if this is going to help me.
Yes, I am thinking about myself. Yes, I am being selfish. Yes, I don't want to hurt them but I don't want to give in to them at this juncture. No, I don't want them to be unhappy. Yes, I want both of us to be happy. Yes, it is super difficult. No, I am not going to stop trying. No, I am not going to give in. Yes, I will wait till I am ready. Yes, they need to understand it but they might not understand it. Yes, fights will happen. No, I won't back answer. Yes, I will try keeping them happy. Yes, I might lose on awesome prospects right now. No, I am not going to push myself worrying about future. Yes, I will live in present. Yes, I might end up alone. Yes, it might just happen because of my stubborness. No, I don't blame my parents. Yes, I am a trouble rebel child. Yes, I love them. Love them a lot and will always try hard to keep them happy. Yes, maybe someday even by forgetting about my happiness.
All of us go through this phase. I'm going through the same thing though maybe different circumstances .. I hope this too shall pass for your own good.. Be happy :)
ReplyDeleteAgreed and thanks! I hope things turn out well for you too :)
ReplyDeleteTake care!
I know what you are talking about. I came to USA to avoid or rather put this off for a later time. :) Be strong and do not give in as it is your life too. Tell them that there are other ways you can make them happy, like taking care of them and making them proud by making a name for yourself. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHey Raj, thanks a lot babes *hugs* Really working hard on that one. Hope things pan out well :)
ReplyDeletecould relate to it :) but like you i have chosen my happiness and surprised to know parents happy with it too :D
ReplyDeleteThat's lovely! :)
ReplyDelete