So you thought, I am always this grim, serious writer who is boring down your neck with yawnable (No no no, don't point it out as a wrong word. I just invented this word! *pats back*) articles? Uhuh.
Everyone has phases and I, for the matter of fact have the most. And I am very well allowed to have this phases. Why? First, I am a girl. Yes, that's one big reason enough. Second, I am on a diet! Sigh, trust me. It is the most difficult thing to do in this whole big bad world. Day in, day out, I just see food flying here, there and everywhere. Thirdly, medicines are being pumped left, right and center in my body. Ah well, I may have exaggerated that part a wee bit but hey! That doesn't negate the fact that I am really on a medicine diet!
Amidst dieting, work and boring evening, what is the best thing that could happen with me? Guys? Naah. They are *yawn* leave it. The best thing that could happen with me is group chat with my bitches! Woohoo!
Here's a peek-a-boo in the conversation between Mad Woman (M), Fun Woman (F) and Lotus Woman (L):
(Enter group chat)
F: haha. I told you to have a sub sandwich.
M: Bikini mission babes :(
F: Me also not gonna eat crap now onwards
L: Bikini time?
F: oh yuss yuss. Belly piercing time!
L: Me got pink :D
F: Yay! Me buy all colors
M: F and me have decided to lose some weight so that we can don bikinis in Goa
L: me too
F: and get laid too
L: I am fat fat dat, in the middle like the pilsbury kid
F: I'm tooooooo fat hippo fat
M: Mera toh gone case hai, I am super fat so even if I lose 1-2 kgs it will be an achievement
F: im like the hippo .. u know what i mean.
M: F, you are so not a hippo! I just saw you. How did you become a hippo in less than an hour?
L: Feck u woman my centers are jelly belly
M: Hehe! Work out darling :P
F: Mine are gooooey
L: I need to jog and run
F: I belly dance by doing as much as walking
L: Lol, ur crazy wifey
(Yes, F is L's wife and I am L's lover and also adopted kid. Bitch talk! Not to be taken seriously! But then, we don't care if you do! )
F: Wind can't make it move. Too heavy for that
F: Ask *insert name of an ex-colleague* He has seen that.
L: Grrr *insert name of an ex-colleague* has seen what ur wife hasn't?
F: Hahahaha *insert name of an ex-colleague* has seen me walk
F: and you haven't seen me in a while. You biatttch!
L: nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn :P I like the drama man! Miss it badly.
M: Drama, well that defines all of us! Nahhhhiiiiiiiiiiii
F: Yeh sunne se pehle yeh zameen fat kyun nahi gauyi
L: :) Sex and city .. .but with M, its virgin and the city
F: aur main issmein samaa kyun nai gayi
M: Facepalm Why L? Why are you so mad at my hymen?
F: We'll spike her drink this trip
L: Yesh yesh because you are hymenally challenged!
F: You are sexually deprived! Undernourished your insides are.
L: For the trip, count my boy out.
F: No way, he's coming and cumming and I don't wanna hear him if he's a screamer. I'm gonna be making confirmations including him. So tell him, if he doesn't turn up he needs to pay for everybody's trip.
L:He's an ass man
F: Not a boobie man?
L : Lol every man is a ass man, boobies are just added attraction
F: Yeah man, I like the ass men, M, we find a butt spanking man for you!
L: Now the topic shall go to semen and M will be like what man? BTW M, there's an ex army guy works for you now. You interested? He's darn cute
F: baba... naaaiiiiceeee! Go for it M! They are wild in bed!
L: I know!
F: These army and ex army men!
L: But yeah he's not that old! Mmmmmmm? Where are you M?
F: Have you noticed that M's been missing since we began virginity and hymen bursting talk ??? hahhaa! M! Ok ma girlies, I go too now. I call you both in eve. Do a con call! Byeee Hotnessssssessss
M: I am back! Was on a call
L: okies, muah. Phone sex doesn't affect hymen
M: Hahahahah btw I louuuvvevee army men. I want!
L: Ok ok. I'll hook u up with this one. I am sure you will like.
M: Tall, dark, handsome? Not a dickhead or air head?
L: Not dickhead. Sweet. Here *insert the army guy's facebook profile link* We feel bad abt u being hymenally challenged so you better change that.
M: ROFL! I am fine with being hymenally challenged
(After checking the guy's profile)
M: Nooooo. Not another southie! Noo! Next option please!
So yeah, this is it! Some of it. I have the best bitches in the world! What would my life be without these two idiots? B.O.R.I.N.G! *group hug time*