What is the protocol of talking to someone with whom your friend has set you up with?
Should you say introductions and get into personality assesment or should you just have general chat? What is the best way to ask questions? Let me put it in a better way, how to best get to know the person? Is your each and every word going to be scrutinized? Are your words going to paint a picture of your personality in his mind? Phew! They should print a 'set up conversation protocol' to ease out worries for naive simpletons like me. Well, I am not exactly a simpleton but still, this is so confusing and awkward.
And guess what? This is just about chatting online. Atleast when you don't have anything to say, you can just excuse by saying 'brb'. Imagine if there are direct blind dates?! That thought scares me. Really.
Anyways, so I generally chat up with Mr. Geek (that is what he calls himself) and find him to be quite chilled out. I will not get into further personality assesment since I pride to be non-judgemental types and not so hasty in stereotyping types.
While chatting with him, I realise that there are no conversation protocols. None. Surely, that makes everything so awkward. Not just that, the whole scenario is just so awkward but it is okay. It is a new experience. I can surely agree to that.
Later in the day, while talking to a friend of mine. I also figured how complicated my situation is. I have VVIP, whom I have been trying to overcome. Then there is BR who is a great friend but an ex and has yet to come to terms with the break. Now Mr. Geek has come into picture. Also, there is a Mr. Twitter who is now a good friend but there are loads of undercurrents and maybe one or two guys more. If I record my life, we will definitely have an adult comedy shows like the Americans do!
Also, the weird thing that I realised is that on one hand, I am trying to immerse myself in work, hoping that I am able to escape that onslaught of turmoil and longing for someone while on the other hand, I am introducing myself to someone new. While, all of this should make everything easy for me it has a complete reverse effect.
I realise that I don't want to do this. I don't want to meet new people or give others a shot. I don't want to listen to all the wise words of my well wishers.
Maybe even after 9 years, even though it is stupid, idiotic, immaturish and foolish, I don't want to let go but I need to make an effort for all those who want to see me happy. I want a miracle. I want the conflict between heart and mind to end.
Am I right or wrong?